On 1st May 2025, I expressed my views. That day your reply broke me (I know, it's not your fault). I never wanted to lose you, so I couldn't think of anything else and said to be friends (I am happy being friends rather than strangers). It's been 9 months and 2 weeks, and I can't get out of it. I am not able to think of anything other than you.

The day we started talking, I had thousands of problems but felt life was becoming better. I changed my life — my diet, fitness, health, studies, looks, and social presence. I don't know why I was doing that, but it happened automatically. I am not mad, obsessed, needy, a stalker, an attention seeker, or a guy who takes relations for time pass or fun; I truly love you as a person. I believe that you should love the person, not their looks, and that's why souls go to heaven and bodies are buried in the ground, and I am not telling this to make you feel guilty or responsible for my condition or force you to love me, and I know it was my fault that I loved you so much and will always do as I can't help it. I will definitely sound clingy, but you are the best feeling and the happiest memory of my life.

I don't talk to many people or ask them to stay, but you were always different, and I can't imagine not talking to you. I know my presence doesn't matter to you. But when I am happy or experience something good, you are the first thought that comes to my mind.

(Whatever I am writing is not to make you feel guilty or accused, as I can do anything but never let you feel sad or guilty, and because of me,

never,
Please don't feel bad.

The reason to write this message is to tell you that I can't stop thinking of you, and the day you told me that you "don't feel the same way," it completely broke me, and a part of me died. I know that you can't love anyone;

Maybe you didn't like me, or
thought that you don't know me well,

But I will always respect your decision.

Your happiness is what mattered to me, so I thought to distance myself, but I stopped living the way I used to. I stopped eating well, stopped talking to everyone, and then went into depression. I had counseling, but nothing helped. I went for the first competition in 11th grade, had no hopes, and I almost lost the World Cup, but your message at that time changed everything. I experienced a different energy and performed my best, and the result proved it. I won the World Cup. That's what you are for me, but I always feared talking, as one wrong message could break the tiny strand that held us together. I don't know what people do in love, but you are everything for me. I always control myself for weeks not to message you to prevent something wrong, but it made me think more of you. I started playing guitar and writing poems and finally fell ill. I am having panic attacks and fainted in tuition, and whenever I think of losing you, I start to lose control of my hands and legs, they go completely cold and numb and start sweating. I close my eyes, and I see you.

Please don't think I am mad or out of my mind or trying to get your attention by playing with your emotions or trying to impress you or getting sympathy.

I was not able to get out of it, and the best way to solve any problem is to talk, discuss, or express. I wanted to tell you that I am different; I am not like others. I respect emotions, thoughts, and decisions. I don't know what all these trends are — situationship, benching, ghosting — I never thought of it as always having loved you and never having had that feeling for anyone else.

Remember, "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT." Always stay happy.

I will always love you and would love to talk to you like we used to but will never force you to talk or love back. It's always your choice, but I cannot stop loving you, and that's my fault.

And if I had not sent this message to you, nothing would have changed in your life, but I wished that you should know how I feel.